CONTRADICTORY/CURRENT THOUGHTS


THIS PLACE CAN BE 
INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING AND NEGATIVE
IF YOU LET IT,

BUT CAN HELP FIX YOU IF YOU ALLOW YOURSELF
TO LET GO OF THINGS HERE


Entering the 'real' world, where art is not often sustainable as a career has been predictable and surprising at the same time.  I have formed a relationship with dance and movement over the years; a relationship that is ever-changing.  All I knew as a kid was that I loved it, but didn't necessarily understand why I did or why I needed it. Over the last three years, I spent every day with dance.  I thought about dance, wrote about dance, talked about dance, studied dance and choreographed dance.  I lived in a bubble of dance, one that doesn't exist now.  It was a privilege and a rare experience, and I learnt an equal amount about myself as I did about movement. Now, dancing every day is rare.  I am grateful for it.  I am also grateful for time spent away from it.  This year, I have discovered a new found appreciation for movement.  There is nothing and no one telling me to dance now except myself.  There is nothing and no one telling me to create now except myself.  Space is hard to find, therefore you look to your own surroundings for possibilities. There are phases where it is harder than others, days I tell myself I will get moving and I don't and days where I question my commitment and passion for it.  Time freedom has its setbacks, and reality has its restrictions, and I know that this is going to be a constant battle and flow.  I now have a higher appreciation for movement ideas and the creative process, I feel more present and alive in rehearsals, and I believe in the necessity of dance to be able to live positively and presently.  I feel more 'me' when I am in baggy clothes, sweaty and full of inspiration and I know that this privilege will come and go but I feel lucky to acknowledge that at the least, all I need is an empty space and my own human body to understand my world. 

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